Lucia: Graceful Light
I awoke rather suddenly early Monday morning to what I thought was food poisoning. After several trips to the bathroom, and plenty of cursing the green chili enchiladas I had eaten for dinner, I tried to go back to sleep and calm my aching stomach and nerves. It was officially the day after my due date and I was more than ready for any sign of labor, although I wrote this situation off as nature's cruel coincidence. Within the next hour, contractions began and I was amazed at how quickly they not only set in, but increased in duration and intensity. I felt ready and energized with each passing wave of energy, and was so overjoyed to finally meet our new little one.
For the past several months, I (I should say we, for Andy played a huge role in all of this) had poured my energy into physically and mentally preparing to welcome our baby girl into the world. After a challenging birth experience with Harrison resulting in a cesarean birth, I was committed to doing everything in my limited control to help carve a different path. It was my intention to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) ideally without pain medicine or interventions. Between prenatal yoga and otherwise staying active, frequent visits to a chiropractor, taking a Birthing from Within series of classes and hiring a birth doula, we managed to stay rather busy and focused on the journey ahead.
So in the early hours of the morning, as labor progressed and we prepared for our journey to the hospital, I trusted that my baby, my body, and the divine knew what to do. We arrived at the hospital around 4:30 am where we met Kayti, our doula. It was an incredible evening, with a brilliant moon overhead and deliciously cool marine air. I felt like walking, so we set our bags down in front of the hospital, ate a few snacks, then set out on a path around a fountain and lovely statues. The picture below captures the essence of the scene...Andy said it felt as if we were backpacking through Europe...waiting at a train station in the middle of the night while eating saltine crackers and eagerly anticipating the journey ahead.
The contractions continued to grow more intense, and soon it felt as if we were stopping every few steps to work through each surge. It was time to move our adventure inside the hospital, and after checking in around 5 am, I was relieved to hear that I had already dilated between 4 and 5 cm (on a scale of 10).
Once in our birthing "suite" as they were called, my incredible husband and Kayti helped me work through each contraction with the perfect amount of massage, hip squeezes, humor and encouraging words. As labor continued and the process became increasingly intense, I knew that I could do this with all of the incredible support encompassing me. I felt strong, confident and empowered.
Initially our nurse was having difficulty obtaining a reading on Lucia's heart rate (as a VBAC patient, I had to have continuous fetal monitoring). Once the reading was established, everything looked fine.
As labor continued over the next half hour, Lucia's heart rate began to dip during each contraction, however returned to a healthy rate in between the surges. And then, after a contraction, the nurse informed us that Lucia's heart rate remained far too low. The minutes following this news I spent working through seriously intense contractions and feeling the urge to push while we all collectively sent whatever positive energy we had to our baby girl.
Despite our efforts, Lucia's heart rate did not recover to an acceptable level to continue with the current birthing process. Given this, a team of doctors and nurses suddenly descended upon our room, threw an oxygen mask on me, and I was raced through the hallways to the operating room- just like I had seen in a movie. Andy and Kayti ran alongside me until we reached the operating room where they had to remain outside, and in less than a minute of entering the room, my world went dark as I was put under.
It was in that moment, flying down the hallway...surrounded by medical staff, our doula and my amazing husband, that I surprised myself: I didn't panic. Despite the concerned expressions on everyone's faces, I knew in my heart that everything would work out for the best, and that soon I would be holding our Lucia. Faith is not something I am accustomed to relying on or that comes easily to me, and yet it was in these rather unnerving moments that it flooded my entire being....a gift perhaps from the greater forces at work.
At 6:27 am, while I lay asleep and an anxious Andy waited outside, our little Lucia was born with great assistance from competent doctors and the grace of the divine. Our baby girl initially was unresponsive and needed help breathing for the first 2 minutes, but after that time, she let out a healthy cry and was soon happily in Dad's arms. (We later learned the umbilical cord was simply too short, thus causing stress as Lucia moved further down the birth canal.)
After some time in recovery, it was finally my time to meet our daughter. I couldn't wait to hold our little one in my arms, and the journey from the recovery room to ours seemed painstakingly long. Words cannot express the gratitude and joy I felt the moment I looked upon Lucia's sweet face safely in Andy's grasp. It was love at first glance.
And holding her next to me...the first cuddle....PURE BLISS!
We spent the next moments, I suppose the next few days, relishing in our amazing gift and processing the incredible journey we all embraced to bring Lucia into the world. And though it was a more challenging path than we had hoped, in many ways it was perfect... it was Lucia's birth, and our birth as parents of two children, and Harrison's birth as a brother that unfolded beautifully, just as it was intended to.
Welcome to the world little Lucia... you are SO loved!
Grateful sighs of relief
Soaking in our little light
With Kayti after birth
Still a little loopy from the drugs, and oh so happy
Together... day 2
